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Post by {(.:A.o.S:.)}FNDR Dogmeat on Jul 30, 2012 10:11:00 GMT -6
Full of Hot Air A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude."
She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican." "I am," replied the man. "How did you know?" "Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."
The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Democrat." "I am," replied the balloonist. "But how did you know?"
"Well," said the man, "You don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You've made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and now you expect ME to solve your problem. You're in EXACTLY the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now, it's MY fault.
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Post by {(.:A.o.S:.)}FNDR Dogmeat on Jul 30, 2012 10:13:01 GMT -6
Q: What is Pelosi doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears? A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
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Post by {(.:A.o.S:.)}FNDR Dogmeat on Jul 30, 2012 10:13:32 GMT -6
Q: Why don't they let Pelosi swim in the ocean? A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.
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Post by {(.:A.o.S:.)}FNDR Dogmeat on Jul 30, 2012 10:14:32 GMT -6
From the Los Angeles Times Newspaper
1. 40% of all workers in Los Angeles County ( Los AngelesCounty has 10.2 million people) are working for cash and not paying taxes. This is because they are predominantly illegal aliens working without a green card.
2. 95% of warrants for murder in Los Angeles are for illegal aliens.
3. 75% of people on the most-wanted list in Los Angeles are illegal aliens.
4. Over 2/3 of all births in Los Angeles County are to illegal alien Mexicans on Medi-Cal, whose births were paid for by taxpayers.
5. Nearly 35% of all inmates in California detention centers are Mexican nationals here illegally.
6. Over 300,000 illegal aliens in Los Angeles County are living in garages.
7. The FBI reports half of all gang members in Los Angeles are most likely illegal aliens from south of the border.
8. Nearly 60% of all occupants of HUD properties are illegal.
9. 21 radio stations in Los Angeles are Spanish speaking.
10. In Los Angeles County 5.1 million people speak English, 3.9 million speak Spanish. (There are 10.2 million people in Los Angeles County .)
(All 10 of the above statements are from the Los Angeles Times) Less than 2% of illegal aliens are picking our crops, but 29% are on welfare. Over 70% of the United States ' annual population growth (and over 90% of California, Florida , and New York ) results from immigration. 29% of inmates in federal prisons are illegal aliens.
We are a bunch of fools for letting this continue!
This is only one State. If this doesn't open your eyes, nothing will And yet when Arizona tries to fight back, and Obama the muslim takes the side of the illegals.
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Post by {(.:A.o.S:.)}FNDR Dogmeat on Jul 30, 2012 10:18:49 GMT -6
In Washington old Joe lay dying in the hospital. For years he had faithfully served God. He motioned for his nurse to come near.
"Yes, sir?" said the nurse. "I would really like to see Barack Obama and Nancy Pelosi before I die", whispered Joe. "I'll see what I can do, Joe ", replied the nurse. The nurse sent the request to The House and Senate and waited for a response.
Soon the word arrived; Barack Obama & Nancy Pelosi would be delighted to visit Joe.
As they went to the hospital, Obama commented to Pelosi, "I don't know why Joe wants to see us, but it will certainly help our images." Pelosi agreed that it was a good thing.
When they arrived at Joe's room, Joe took Obama's hand in his right hand and Pelosi's hand in his left. There was silence and a look of serenity on Joe's face.
Finally Nancy Pelosi spoke. "Joe, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?"
Joe slowly replied, "I have always tried to pattern my life after Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."
"Amen", said Obama. "Amen", said Pelosi.
Joe continued, "Jesus died between two lying thieves; I would like to do the same."
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Post by {(.:A.o.S:.)}FNDR Dogmeat on Jul 30, 2012 10:19:26 GMT -6
Q: What the difference between Nancy Pelosi and the rear end of a horse? A: I don't know either.
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Post by {(.:A.o.S:.)}FNDR Dogmeat on Jul 30, 2012 10:20:10 GMT -6
Q.What time is it when Nancy Pelosi sits on your fence? A. Time to turn on the electricity.
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